I wonder

I wonder how I'm gonna handle everything once I get to Iraq. Right now, I'm feeling a nervous excitement, in a wrong way I kind of can't wait to go, it's a certain reality that can't even be imagined, really. I read things on the news, watch it on the news, hear from buddies about what it's like over there, but you as well as I know, that none of that info can't prepare you for what it's gonna be like. My buddies ask me "how you feeling about that?" and I always tell them that I'm excited to go, do my part, find out what I'm made of, that most likely I'll end up taking it pretty well, but you never know, I might just shit myself when it finally sinks in, Truthfully I doubt it, I've been on my own alot, a little to much for a kid my age, Most kids my age in the army haven't been away from home for 18 months, so it must be hard for them. I've always been the type to be able to make the best out of my environment. Let's hope I stay true to my mantra. AT was supposed to be from the 1st of Aug to the 20th, but that was before we got a notice of our pending activation. So pretty much now AT's bumped up from 3rd to 15th then on the 16th; when we're officially active duty, we leave for Ft. Lewis for a good 2-3 months. Now AT's totally different from original plan of convoying to Ft. Carson training there, now from what I heard from our "all-knowing" grapevine is that the first 6 days is out in the field going through STX lanes and Weapons Qualifying, then the rest of the time is gonna be getting all our trucks and equiptment ready. Man..this just came to my mind, from the "grapevine" I was told that more than a couple of women in our platoon got pregnant so they don't have deploy. lol, now normally any Gung-ho soldier would call them P.O.S. but I just find it funny, not to be rude to them or nothing but I'd rather them stay behind then end up bringing nothing but negativity there, Good morale is always an important factor in unit cohesion and for us to rely on each other for positive support. From what I read in Army times the next troop rotation for the month of November will be with either the 25th ID or the 3rd ID, 25th in N. Iraq and 3rd in Baghdad, so either way It'll be an experience most 19yr old's wont be able to say they did. I'm glad that I don't have any attachments, but at the same time I more than guarantee that I'll feel a little alone at times. If I had a big family and a girlfriend, It'd be so hard to part with them...I feel bad for my senior NCO's who got wife and kids. That's gotta be so hard on them. But that's life, it's the hand that we're dealt, it's all a matter of how we play it. I'm ranting, it's close to 4 a.m. I'm at one my closest buddy Matt's house, we had a little get together, knocked back some brews and hung out with couple of cool gals, It's definitely time for sleep. It's funny, the other day Matt called me up for the sole reason of a dream he had the night before, it was kind of funny cuz it was him in Iraq and stuff. "He" was the soldier, he was tellin me bout how he got ambushed or something...lol...shouldn't I be the one dreamin bout stuff like this? haha...Bad omen...knock on wood...haha..Nah....ya..time for sleep...nite