Journey of a National Guard Soldier going Active

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Is it Raining??

So we get to anaconda, mission complete. Boring one indeed, despite the fact that for some reason, I felt that something was gonna happen; this was not to be so. If anything, this was one of the most boring trips I’ve ever been on to anaconda. We got stuck behind 2 convoys; ergo, every damn time they decided to stop or whenever they came upon a pontoon bridge, our convoy and the three behind us pretty much stopped behind them. It pretty much looked like a 6 mile long convoy, no joke. At that point…that feeling was gone.

When we got to anaconda we(as in guntruck guys); as we always do, switched our SINGCARS channel to our own freq, that way we can talk casually without bothering the other soldiers on our mission.

So I tell my boy SPC D. to switch over, he does, and then I do.

“Yo D, you there?”
“ya man, I’m here. Yo check this out, you wont believe this”
“what?”
“dude, J pissed on SGT D!!!”
“Waa?? What the hell you talking bout?”
“Ya man, all..over..him. Not like sprinkle, I mean on his face, on his DCU’s…everywhere!!!”

“HAHAHAHA….how man?..HAHAHAHA”

So here’s the story:

So J’s in the turret, D is TC’ing and SGT D is the driver. Well, J has to piss, but he had no bottles to piss in, so he just figured; “Hey, I’ll just turned around and piss off the back” (his guntruck was last truck in convoy) So he starts on his merry way of drainin the main vein.

SGT. D on the other hand, is all of a sudden feeling liquid hitting his face, and his hands. He’s thinking it’s probably liquid from a Gatorade or MRE; because on the last mission D spilt some shit on him. So SGT D looks up at J and he’s thinking. “ooookay, no Gatorade bottle….no MRE….huh? J’s hands are by his crotch…SONOFA..”

‘J ARE YOU PISSIN???!?!”
“Uhhh…NO SGT!”
“J…IS THERE LIQUID…COMING FROM YOUR PENIS????!?!?”
“uhhh..yes sgt?”
“DAMMIIT!!!! YOU’RE PISSIN ON ME!!! SOOONNOOFFAABIIITCH!! AGHH!!! IT”S ALL OVER MY FACE!!!!”

Turns out that even though he was facing the back….the wind blew the piss ALL over SGT D.

“YOU BETTER FIND ME SOME BABY WIPES OR SOMETHING..NOW!!!”

So they get the CLS bag (combat lifesaver AKA army first aid kit) and they get out a wetnap or something of the sort.

“YOU SURE THIS ISN’T IODINE??? CUZ IF I GET ORANGE SHIT ALL OVER MY FACE I’M GONNA BE REALLY PISSED” (it’s night time…so can’t really tell)

“uhh…no SGT..I don’t think it is”

Sooo..ya…that’s the story, I’m telling ya, when I heard that story, I laughed so hard, I seriously almost passed out. I can just picture all that going on in my head and it’s just too much.

So now I’m in the KBR “chicken coops” typing this one my laptop; which BTW to me, is a monumental thing because this is the first entry via my laptop. This means I can pretty much post an entry whenever I want.

I’m out

*melody to R. Kelly’s Ignition*

“This is the remix edition...to the song about pissin” hehe

1 Comments:

Blogger Janie said...

Nice job on the pictures...and interesting post concerning the SGT...poor guy. Hope he has a sense of humor!

3/30/2005 2:01 AM

 

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